Why Asia’s young women are going ‘boy sober’ and swiping left on romance

For years, young Singaporean women have followed a familiar life script: study hard, date sensibly, apply for public housing, marry and have children. But a growing number of women in the city state are choosing to rewrite this narrative.

Take Candace*, a 30-year-old globetrotter whose work can take her anywhere from the quaint streets of Berlin to bustling Hong Kong. For her, dating has taken a back seat.

“I like the freedom to leave anytime I want and do anything I want,” said the vice-president of commercial operations at a start-up. “There are already so many people’s thoughts, feelings and emotions to take into account, like those of my boss, colleagues, family … so not having to manage another person’s emotions and expectations is a plus.”

Candace calls her life plan “unconventional” compared to her peers. “It’s like I blinked and most of my friends in Singapore were already married.”

For others, like Tessa*, 27, the decision to step away from dating stems from frustration. After enduring disappointing dates and the all-too-familiar experience of being ghosted, she began to rethink what happiness means – outside marriage.