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Lo Hoi-ying

The stress of taking care of his elderly parents and family brought 44-year-old Hongkonger Michael to the verge of a breakdown.
Already the father of an eight-year-old, he juggles the responsibilities of his regular home life with taking care of his parents and working full time.
Michael, who only wanted to provide his first name, said the arrangement put him under a great deal of pressure.
He was initially reluctant to seek help caring for his father, who has hearing loss, and his mother, a wheelchair user.
Michael felt others were in greater need.
“I felt that my friends were not concerned when I tried to talk to them about it, and I could only cry when the pressure built up,” he said.
“One day, I felt very down and was on the roof of my office building when I looked down and had a brief moment where I contemplated jumping. But I stopped myself and told myself I cannot do that.”
He turned to carer-specific programmes run by Suicide Prevention Services, an NGO, which he said helped him manage his emotions and relieve stress.

The NGO on Sunday announced the findings of its recent survey, which showed that 37 per cent of the 942 carers it interviewed between October 2024 and February this year were in a high state of stress.
Among them, more than four in 10 showed symptoms of depression or anxiety. Nearly 17 per cent of all respondents said they had thoughts of suicide or self-harm.
Executive director Vincent Ng Chi-kwan said that women, as well as middle-aged carers and those with jobs, were highlighted as demographics facing an “alarming” risk of suicide.
Programme manager Tsun Wai-tak said women had especially high levels of stress.
Among female respondents, 41 per cent reported feeling highly stressed, compared with 21 per cent of men.
“This highlights the dual constraints faced by female carers due to gender roles and traditional family divisions of labour,” he said.
The findings for middle-aged carers between 34 and 54 were also “particularly concerning”, Tsun said.
More than half of these carers faced high levels stress and their rates of depression, anxiety and risk of suicide or self-harm were higher than those in other age groups.
“This shows that middle-aged carers, while balancing work, family and long-term caregiving responsibilities, are more likely to fall into a state of isolation and helplessness,” he said. “It’s like working one-and-a-half jobs.”
Maria, another carer in her forties, said she was highly stressed after her mother was diagnosed with dementia and felt as though many others in her situation had fallen through the cracks of support systems.
She was still working and studying while trying to take care of her mother.


Maria opted to hire a domestic helper to ease some of the burden while she reached out to different organisations to find out what benefits her mother was eligible to receive.
She said she was fortunate to have an understanding manager who gave her flexible work hours, but there was a lack of services targeting carers who also had full-time jobs.
“A lot of the services are only for the lower income group, so I don’t qualify, and a lot of the activities or doctor appointments are only available during the weekday when I’m working,” Maria said.
She also had to manage feeling frustrated with her mother, who was unwell and would run away or act strangely at times.
Despite the stress, Maria wanted to continue with her caregiving responsibilities as few elderly care homes met her standards. She said the better ones charged up to HK$80,000 (US$10,290) a month, which she could not afford.
Suicide Prevention Services said that more support for full-time carers, such as counselling sessions organised online, after working hours or on the weekends, could help them to relieve stress.
Mindfulness exercises, breathing training, stretching guidance and other personalised support measures were also among the options that could be tailored to carers’ schedules.
The NGO called on employers to offer flexible working hours and paid leave to allow carers to accompany their loved-ones to medical visits.
If you have suicidal thoughts, or you know someone who is, help is available. For Hong Kong, dial +852 18111 for the government-run “Mental Health Support Hotline” or +852 2896 0000 for The Samaritans and +852 2382 0000 for Suicide Prevention Services.
In the US, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
For a list of other nations’ helplines, see this page.


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Suicide Prevention Services says 37 per cent of surveyed carers in high state of stress and nearly 17 per cent have thoughts of suicide, self-harm


Suicide Prevention Services says 37 per cent of surveyed carers in high state of stress and nearly 17 per cent have thoughts of suicide, self-harm.


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Ageing society

Mental health

Suicides in Hong Kong

‘I could only cry’: Hong Kong carers pushed to limit, as NGO warns of stress risks

Suicide Prevention Services says 37 per cent of surveyed carers in high state of stress and nearly 17 per cent have thoughts of suicide, self-harm

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